Protein is NOT my friend

     This past week has been a little bit better for me overall. I received a sample pack of protein. I also purchased something called PB2 which is a powdered peanut butter that has 85% less calories than regular peanut butter. I used some of the samples I bought. I tried chocolate with the PB2 and the vanilla with the PB2. Both I mixed with skim milk. Each shake has 231 calories and 34 grams of protein. Since I can only digest 25 grams of protein at once. I split this into two sittings. I have also tried refried beans with salsa. Deviled eggs and of course my soups. I have still yet to have any nausea from foods. On average I am consuming about 400-600 calories a day. 

     I am not getting in the recommended amount of protein per day. My goal is 70-100 grams a day. Once I am able to eat meat, I think this will get easier. Until then I have to drink as many protein shakes as possible. Which is a lot of money for the good stuff! Drinking from a straw is not recommended, but I ask my PA if it was ok. She told me to proceed with caution. Having the straw makes it a heck of a lot easier to consume the shakes and the 64 ounces of fluids I am required to take in daily! 

     The hardest thing about this all is that I am not hungry...ever! So I have to force myself to drink and eat all the time. I was so excited to eat the refried beans. The first bite was amazing... Then after the third, I was done. Which these were small bites. When I am eating the more solid foods I can only consume a very small amount. Not that I feel full, because not sure you can feel full if you were never hungry to begin with. But just don't want to eat. 

     I went to a potluck the other day with my co-workers. I made chicken enchiladas, rice and beans. There was a ton of food there! I fixed Noah a plate and fed him all of the things I knew he would eat. He ate enchiladas, rice, corn and black bean salsa, watermelon, deviled eggs, potato salad, and fried chicken. While looking at the food on this plate in front of me, I had absolutely no desire to eat any of it. I ate a deviled egg and a few small bites of watermelon, but that was only because I knew I needed to eat something and that was the only thing there I could eat. I have cooked for Noah and again, have no desire to eat anything. 

     Now when I see a papa johns or Pizza Hut sign, my mouth does water for a quick second and for a moment I think, that would taste so good. But it quickly passes. I think I am starting to grasp the importance of the food I choose to eat. I look for protein, protein, protein. If I have to eat, it has to be protein. 

     I have joined the YMCA. I have looked at the schedule of classes and that is what I will start off with. Yes I know water aerobics is typically for old people that have joint issues, but I enjoy it. It is a low impact exercise that does get your heart going. I do have joint pain, so this is ideal for me. I will also plan to do the Zumba classes. I know it will be fun and I also know it is a workout for sure. I have another week of "taking it easy" so no Zumba until then. I will leave school, go get Noah, go to the gym and drip him off in child watch and workout for 1-2 hours. So this will leave me maybe an hour with my son most days. Which totally totally sucks! But, this is only for now.... If I get in shape and lose this weight we will be able to do a lot more together later on in life, when he can remember it and enjoy it! 

     Thanks again to everyone that is supporting me through this journey. Writing in this blog helps me a lot. Just keep praying for us! School starts back  in a week! At that point I will be full force into my routine. I won't have a lot of time to blog or visit with anyone. That is the life of a nursing student in general, but then you add that I am a single mom and going through this weight loss, I will be virtually invisible. So if you want to talk or visit, meet me at the gym!